Thursday, May 5, 2011

An Ode to My Mothers...

In honor of Mother's Day and all, I'm writing an ode to my two mothers mother.

I DO have two mothers...a step-mother(but not the Cinderella-creepy-mean-make-your-kid-do-all-the-work kind), and my biological mother. Long story mom and dad got divorced when I was one? and my dad remarried my step-mom when I was too little to remember life without her 3 or 4?. step-mom was really young(21?) when she married my dad and was instantly thrown into mom-hood(but mainly on the weekends and summers).  So, I'm going to do my best to honor them both at the SAME time...and let me say this, they are POLAR opposites of each other.

 My mom is a little...umm...not normal. I wouldn't say ABnormal, she's just not normal. She has never done anything the "right" way; you know, like when she gave us all chores to do? Mine was to VACUUM the GARAGE FLOOR! That's right, the place you PARK THE CARS(except our garage never held a parked car), it had "stuff" in it I guess.  Well, everyday after I came home from school, I had to vacuum it. I'm pretty sure the neighbors thought I was a little cuckoo.
My step-mom is the exact opposite...she's the epitome of normal. She would say, "Let's SWEEP the garage floor"(where the cars were actually parked), because that is the NORMAL thing to do to a garage floor.

My mom is a little bit of a hoarder. When we were growing up and all of the sib's lived at home, she would have PILES of stuff on the steps; things like magazines from 10 years ago with the plastic wrap still on, miscellaneous papers from school, T.V. guides(that expire WEEKLY)...anyway, there was SOMETHING ON EVERY STEP. My brother and I wrestled and fought a lot, and it never failed, those PILES always got messed up!(and then we'd get in BIG trouble).
My step-mom is NOTHING like a hoarder. There's no piles of anything anywhere(except maybe the junk drawers, but that doesn't count). I love going to their house, because it's nothing but wide open spaces, with lots of clean counter space, clean table tops, organized pantry...the list goes on.

My mom doesn't know when or how to keep her mouth shut not say EXACTLY what is on her mind.
My step-mom has.the.filter.

My mom has a little bit of a trucker's mouth...again with the filter.
My step-mom used to spell out "hell" in the form of "H-E-double-hockey-sticks".

 My mom really likes to cook and bake. I've gotten some really delicious recipes from her.
My step-mom's motto for cooking was, "Well, another meal done!". I can't say I've gotten some really delicious recipes from her, as I distinctly remember her with a big pot of noodles, a bottle of ketchup, some ground beef, and some Velveeta cheese...I think she called it goulash. *In all fairness, her cooking has improved greatly over the years, but her motto is still the same!

My mom was a little bit of a screamer yeller when we were growing up. You know, yelling, with the trucker's mouth...yikes! Scary combination for little tikes!
I'm sure my step-mom yelled(what mom doesn't?), I just don't recall it. There's nothing that stands out as her being a yeller...she did have a LOOK for us though.

Well, enough with the comparing, I'm sure they did that enough when I was growing up.

I will say this though. I have learned a lot from both of these wonderful ladies.

I've learned to only hoard the "good stuff" and recycle magazines when I'm done with them.

I've learned that keeping your mouth shut isn't ALWAYS the best thing to do, especially if it means standing up for yourself or someone else who can't stand up for themselves. But DO keep your mouth shut if it's going to get you in trouble.

Swearing is really not necessary...except in the rare cases that it IS.

I do love to cook and bake, but sometimes it's good to just have "another meal done".

I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE SCREAMING MOM. I sometimes yell, partly to rise above all of the chaos, but there HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY! Does anyone have any tips for me on this? ANY AT ALL?? 
I love these moms dearly, each for their own different ways and personalities. Nature vs. nurture? I'm a prime example, folks. 
Don't worry, my mom won't be reading this...I told her about my blog, and she said,"What's that?". After explaining it and showing it to her she said, "That's nice, dear". My step-mom on the other hand, is a daily reader!! So, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! Your card is NOT in the mail yet. 
Love, Jen   

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