A Bar, a Bartender, and a Fake ID

Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but I was a rebel back in the day.

The years between ages 18 and 21, I was tearing it up; moved away from home into college dorms, parties, boys, a fake ID...what? My friends turned 21 months before I did...whatsoever could I do?

Well, you could...

Find a friend, who looked kind of, sort of, not really that much like me, and use her ID whenever she didn't need it.

Yes, I know, it was a brilliant plan...until the night of April 23rd. Yes, I still remember the date. It was my best friend's birthday.  We were going downtown to celebrate.

The bartender asks for our ID's. She looks at the name on mine and declares that "I know this girl, and you aren't her".

What could I do but feign innocence.

What did she do? SERVES ME A DRINK!

Ha! That's right...in your face, Miss Bartender who "thinks she knows fake me, but really doesn't".

A few minutes pass...when out of the corner of my eye I see not ONE but TWO men in blue walk over to our table.

I can't remember what they said, but I do remember they escorted me out the back door, hanging on to my elbows...as if I'd take off on a mad dash or something...although the thought totally crossed my mind.

I was led into their cruiser...man, do they have a sweet ride...not that I'd want to ride in one again...EVER.

They questioned me for hours a couple of minutes. Where did you get the ID? Do you know this girl? What's your REAL NAME? Where do you live? 

I may or may not have shed a tear or two, peed my pants a little, and begged to be released.

I had a date with a judge and a hefty fine to pay. 

DO NOT MESS WITH THE POLICE, USE A FAKE ID IN A SMALL TOWN, OR TRY TO PULL A FAST ONE ON AN EVIL BARTENDER...

Kapow!!

Lesson learned.